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The Girl On The Phone

Posted on October 27, 2007
Filed Under The Stories |

“Hello?”

“Hello. Who is this?”

“Actually, could you please tell me who this is?”

“Woah that’s not how it works. You called me, you tell me who it is. I don’t care if you’re a chick with a hot voice. Phone lines can be deceiving.”

“No, you don’t understand. I’m in a really dark place and my battery is low and I called the first number I could. I need to know who this is. ”

“Turn on a light sweetheart. And then tell me your name or I’m hanging up.”

“No, no! Please don’t hang up.”

“Halloween’s not for another few days sweetheart. This call ends now if you don’t tell me who this is.”

“Okay, okay! It’s Jen.”

“There’s like a hundred Jens on campus alone. Which one?”

“Okay. Good. You’re on campus too.”

“Wait. What? You didn’t know I was on campus. Where did you think you were calling? Wichita?”

“I told you, I’m in a bit of a situation. I just called a number at random.”

“But I guess I know you right? If you have my number?”

“Yes. I guess so.”

“So which Jen are you now?”

“Jen E?”

“Actually it doesn’t even matter. I don’t think I’d know which Jen you were anyway. What can I do for you Jen?”

“I’m stuck in the bathroom.”

“Come on. Are you serious? Want me to pass you some toilet paper or something?”

“No! A few of us went to this guy’s room. Said he was having a party. There were just like this huge group of guys and we were like four girls and a couple of them hooked up and the rest of them started…to go a little crazy. I kinda locked myself in the bathroom.”

“I’m not sure what you want me to do?”

“You don’t understand. These guys are crazy out of their mind on…something. I literally saw them rip the other girl’s shirt off. I don’t want to become a college rape statistic.”

“So why are you locked up in the bathroom? You should just leave.”

“They were blocking the doo-”

“Hello?”

He never thought about it like that but in later years he would wonder why people tapped things that didn’t seem to be working very well. Still he tapped his phone and then he took a step in another direction and the signal reestablished itself. She was back, “—ello?”

“Hey, I thought I lost you there.”

“So can you please come get me?”

“Where are you?”

“The frat house at the bottom of the hill?”

“Yeah I know that one. So listen, do you always wear those cute little dresses?”

“What?”

“Y’know, light sexy little numbers that drive a guy wild?”

“I can’t hear you very well. It sounded like you said something about a dress…?”

He stomped down the corridor and his feet sounded really loud on the hardwood floor and she said, “Oh my God, I think someone is coming.”

He stopped outside the bathroom door, took a deep breath and said, “Maybe if you didn’t act like such a little tease…promising so much and then hiding in the bathroom, I WOULDN’T HAVE TO KICK THIS FUCKING DOOR DOWN!”

One solid heel against one old lock and it was all over. The door flew open, light from the corridor flooded the bathroom and he saw her cowering against the far wall. With every menacing step forward he said, “Who misses the backlight function now?”

Just as she finally gathered enough air in her lungs to scream his big hand closed over her mouth and her delayed call for help rumbled against his palm like a cellphone on vibrate trying to get attention.

“Not tonight sweetheart. I have a hard-on.”

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