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Eavesdropper

Posted on September 20, 2007
Filed Under The Stories |

She was waiting for a friend. In sixteen years of being best friends with Vanessa she still wasn’t used to the girl never being on time. She considered it a cross and bore it with a smile because it was the price of doing friendship with the coolest girl she had ever known.

With little else to do to pass her time except eavesdrop, she tuned in to the conversation at the next table where two guys at different levels of scruffy were having a deep and meaningful discussion about nothing much. The one with the beard said, “So there I was, barefoot and confortable…”

“What in public? Are you like a Sadhu now? Should I call you Maharishi Dave and buy you beads and a sea shell?”

“Are you done?”

“For now.”

“I was at home, at the computer.”

“I liked the sadhu thing better.”

“That’s because you came up with it.”

“Whatever man. So what? You’re not a sadhu and you were barefoot at the computer. I’m bored already.”

“So I touched my big toe, for no good reason, and the nail was sticky.”

She grimaced and choked on her soda a little.

Scruffy Two said, “Dude you like jizz on your toe and forget to wipe it off?”

“Man shut up and keep your voice down. Not everyone is into jacking off all the time.”

“Why not? It keeps you centered.”

“By that logic you should be the most centered guy I know.”

“I’m not?”

“Dude you fell off the fucking chart so long ago you’re probably off centre on another scale all together.”

Scruffy Two’s confusion was audible in his voice, “What?”

“Never mind.”

“So did you lick it?”

“What!”

“The sticky shit on your toe.”

“No! Why would I do that?”

“So you can figure out what it is?”

“Maybe I didn’t want to know what it was.”

“Did you at least sniff it?”

“What the fuck am I? Wolverine? How the fuck am I supposed to sniff something six feet away?”

“Bring your toes to your nose, bro!”

“Yeah like I said. I’m not a sadhu and I don’t do yoga.”

“So what did you do?”

“Jumped in the shower.”

“Did you whack off in there?”

“Dude, come on!”

She was so engrossed in the exchange she didn’t notice Vanessa’s arrival until she was literally on top of her. With her hands on her hips her friend went, “Aren’t you at least going to comment on my dress?”

“Oh, hey! Cute dress! Casbah?”

“You know it! Hey guys!”

She waved to the duo with all the sticky toe talk and Scruffy Two responded, “Hey Vanessa. Looking good. When you going to put some of your pictures on the Internet?”

“Don’t be such a perv Max. Have you guys met my friend Lisa?”

“Naw. Hey Lisa.”

She turned in her chair to say ‘hi’ and Vanessa completed the introductions, “So that’s Max and that’s his friend Dave.”

Dave waved and said, “Hi.”

Max piped in with, “Yeah Dave’s like the worst storyteller in the world.”

Dave blushed and punched him on the shoulder, “Shut up.”

Vanessa sounded intrigued, “Really?”

Max rolled his eyes, “Yeah if he starts about his sticky toe…run!”

Vanessa made a face, “Eww! What the hell is sticky toe?”

Dave cut in, “Nothing! He’s just being an asshole. You girls enjoy your meal.”

Vanessa looked at Lisa with a ‘what did I miss’ expression and Lisa shuddered slightly, “You really don’t want to know.”

Vanessa lost interest, “So, what are we eating?”

Lisa shrugged, “I’m not really that hungry.”

Vanessa jumped to her feet, “Cool! Let’s go shopping.”

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