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Strange Date

Posted on April 9, 2007
Filed Under The Stories |

“If I say I saw your thoughts in my dream, does that make me crazy or just some guy who associated you with random images he dreamt of?”

She didn’t exactly know what to tell him. They had met for the first time a few weeks ago and though he hadn’t been particularly dogged in his pursuit of her, she could tell he was interested. It wasn’t until right then that he had said or done anything weird. She decided to see where he was going with this, “That depends. What did you dream of?”

He seemed relieved and also a little surprised, “Okay, remember that I was really sleepy all right. I mean I didn’t wake up clean or anything. It was messy. It was kind of like a part of me was left behind in dream world and a part of the world came awake with me so I just have these funny images…”

She nodded, “that’s okay. I’m open for anything.”

Her eyes were open, watchful but inviting and he hesitated for just one second before deciding to go in, “I don’t know, you were wearing this blue sweater and dark blue jeans and I don’t know if I walked with you for a while or if my dream just took me there but you stopped by this, like, rundown apartment building and you fed an iguana…”

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t move, she didn’t blink. It was strange for him, like looking at a statue. When she finally reacted it was in the form of a question, “Do you know Rob? Is that what this is because it’s not funny.”

He clearly didn’t know what she was talking about, “I’m sorry, who’s Rob?”

She got impatient, “Come on, don’t play dumb okay. If I got it right it’s no point playing dumb. I’m only going to get mad when you finally admit it.”

“Wow, I guess I freaked you out. I don’t know why but I freaked you out. I don’t know Rob but we don’t have to talk about this anymore.”

“Bulllshit!”

“What?”

“How did he know?”

“Who? What?”

“I was so careful. Come on you’ve got to give me that. How did he find out?”

“I’m really not sure what we’re talking about here anymore.”

“Has he had you tailing me from the beginning?”

“What? No! Who was having you tailed?”

“Why come to me? Why tell me this? Why make contact? You could have got it all, sent it in, been the hero. Why this bullshit?”

“I really don’t know what you mean. Like I said, it was a dream.”

“Really? So did you also dream that I had a gun?”

“What? No? A gun? Why? I just saw you feeding that iguana and for some reason when I woke up I thought it was a thought you’d had about wanting to feed an iguana…which is a bit strange but who knows with dreams right? Why did you think I would dream you have a gun?”

“Because it’s pointing at your balls right now…”

“What?”

He looked at his crotch but obviously the gun’s barrel wasn’t exactly resting on his nut sac, “Wait. You’re kidding right? Ha, ha! Funny, nearly had me there for a second.”

She didn’t look like she thought any of this was particularly amusing.

He started slightly at the loud sound. Then he was flung back with enough force to take the chair with him. A searing pain competed with terrifying numbness in his groin. The wind was knocked right out of him and he didn’t dare look.

She stood up and slipped the gun back into her purse. He understood then why she carried such a large purse. She needed it to hold her big old gun.

“Tell Rob I said fuck you.”

And then she was gone. Right past the staff that had gathered at the foot of the stairs to check up on the sound and right past the other customers eating their fast food. Like any other guy presented with the sight of his own bloody crotch, he passed out.

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