365Fiction

He approached her with all the finesse of a man trying to ice a cake with a forklift. She noticed the double take, the awkward easing onto the barstool and the ignorant flourish with which he attempted to get the bartender’s attention. Naturally the man behind the bar wasn’t used to being summoned with a snap of another man’s fingers so he did little to show any acknowledgement for her latest suitor’s need for lubrication. Apparently, an unresponsive bartender was as good an ice breaker as any for Mr. Smooth so he said, “What’s a guy got to do to get a drink around here hunh?”

Because he was still snapping his fingers she sighed and said, “Does your dog come when you do that?”

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After years of fighting the good fight he finally decided to let go. It hadn’t been easy. He had tried everything in his power. He had done the exercises, he had worn the right clothes, chewed various roots and seeds, chanted a few mantras and even made several aborted attempts at eating the right food. He had tried abstaining from sexual self-satisfaction and even went through periods of not seeking mutual pleasure with another. He had done it all and spent a substantial portion of his life trying to keep the inevitable at bay. Today was the day he let go. It was the day he finally said enough. No more would he hold his stomach in. It put tremendous pressure on his spine to try and stay ‘chest ahead of belly’.

(more…)

She was walking down the street thinking [I can’t believe what I’m hearing!]. It wasn’t just her, there were several other people sharing the same pavement space who didn’t look too thrilled about the foul language polluting their air because of the two men walking past them.

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